Rachel Taylor Geier

Greetings! Welcome to a new Flute Friday. It’s been a HOT minute. In fact, it has been several months since I posted anything… Today’s blog will explain why. 

No, I haven’t been working on a new book or finally finishing the book that has been in progress for many years. No, I haven’t been working in some fabulous full-time new job or playing in a great new orchestra. Also no, I haven’t been sick in a hospital or living in a bunker somewhere far away. I have simply been super burned out. Several years ago, I wrote a blog about burn out and how it manifests in the music industry. Back then, I was busy and occasionally stressed, but not yet burned out. I had not yet felt the heaviness of being exhausted all of the time. I hadn’t seen myself put activities that I loved on a shelf just to survive the mountain of to-dos I’ve accepted as a means of survival. I wasn’t avoiding spending time with family and friends because I felt so lost and broken. I didn’t walk away from people and things that helped me feel awesome just to be myself. I hadn’t stopped exercising or eating relatively healthy food. I hadn’t felt like giving up and becoming a bog witch deep in the forrest. 

In 2024, I decided to make a major pivot in my work life. I had finally received student loan forgiveness by working full-time in a university staff job outside of music and embraced my opportunity to become a music teacher, working part-time at an elementary school, expanding my private studio practice, and accepting more paid performing gigs. I felt awesome! It was finally okay for me to be a teacher. Yes, I would make less money but I would get to be the expert on duty, teaching what I know and love to the next generation. I was even offered a gig working remotely in an old job to help make the transition to my new life easier. Everything seemed great…

But the work required to make this new life sustainable began to pile up behind me…

Managing three part-time roles required a lot of mental flexibility and quick switches in attention. This was very difficult for someone with Focus in their top five Clifton Strengths and a history of only having one full-time gig and a few lessons to teach. I felt the ADD set in and the stress of managing it all take over. My studio was always the easy part (and remains the easy part). Teaching lessons has been the best part of my new world and I feel a wonderful reset when I am teaching in my home studio. If I have learned anything over the past few years, it has been that teaching flute lessons is the best part of my professional life!

There were things I wasn’t ready for when teaching general elementary music and sadly, I still don’t think I’ve found the solutions. Managing classroom discipline and enforcing rules is not my strong suit. Why – Because I don’t usually have to deal with these things in the studio environment. Most of the time, the students that sign up for lessons are the ones that genuinely want to know more about the flute. Facing a larger class of younger kids who do not necessarily like music, and are only there because they are required to be there, has been extremely challenging. I understand where they are coming from – I do. It is how I used to feel about Science class – I just didn’t get it and would have rather been practicing. But it breaks my heart when I see kids not enjoying learning about music or saying “I hate Dr. G.” Or “I hate music class.” I spent a lot of time devising creative lesson plans and tying everything I teach them to a larger picture, but it sometimes landed on deaf ears. And that hurt me as a teacher. I wasn’t ready for that disappointment. I kept going because there are students who absolutely love music. They find me at recess and hang out in the music room wanting to learn more. They have helped me keep going even through the sadness and exhaustion. I keep teaching because of them.

The stress and emotional exhaustion of teaching larger classes made its way into other areas of my life. I stopped exercising because I was so tired all of the time. I couldn’t bring myself to hop on the treadmill at the end of the day or wake up early to go for a walk. I also started stress eating all of things I knew were bad for me. There is a reason these things (like cookies, ice cream, and Burger King) are called “comfort food” – They offered temporary comfort. But these things have gradually taken a toll on my health. I’ve gained weight and my blood sugar numbers have spiked out of control. Instead of dealing with these things and creating more rest time for myself, I have wasted time and money avoiding everything at casinos, looking for a magical win that would make things easier. How? Not sure. I wanted a genie to drop from the sky and take away my stress and exhaustion.

This is all what burnout has looked and felt like. This is the real portrait of burnout.

So…before I fix my life….I must apologize. If I have said “no” to any super fun gigs you’ve invited me to, I’m sorry – I am burned out. If I’ve ignored emails from you checking on fun projects or potential collabs, I’m sorry – I am burned out. If I mysteriously vanished from workshops or programs, I apologize – I am burned out. If you haven’t seen me post anything about my tarot or astrology business, I am sorry – I am burned out. And finally, to my readers, if you have been waiting for a new blog from me (on this site or others), I’m sorry – I am burned out.

If you are burned out too, I see you. I hear you. I understand you. Let’s not hide it anymore! If we name it, then it is no longer a scary secret we are trying to avoid. We can face our burnout head on and conquer it together! Who’s with me??

 Happy fluting!!!