Rachel Taylor Geier

Greetings and welcome to a new Flute Friday!

This is the time of year when high school and college students typically begin receiving decision notices from colleges. Whether it is entry into a Bachelor’s, Master’s, or Doctoral program, the anxiety of not yet knowing who you will be studying with in the Fall is no doubt gut-wrenching. Several auditions have been conducted, interviews have come and gone, and standardized testing has all been completed. That is a lot of prep work! As we wait to know what fate may have in store for us, the dreaded rejection letter from this school or that school may arrive unexpectedly in our inboxes. It is easy to allow a rejection letter to make us feel bad – like we have failed. But that is just not true. And the explanation not that simple. In today’s blog, I am offering a pep talk and a  bit of mental reframing for anybody currently staring at a rejection letter. A rejection can only reject you if you let it. 

First thing’s first – Understand that most of us have been here before. 

I could line the walls of my studio with the rejection letters I received in the past. “Thanks but no thanks” was a common phrase during my post-doctoral job search era. I felt the pain then. I feel the pain still. I searched for other explanations and came up with nothing. Yet, none of these letters stopped me from being a super awesome flutist with a super awesome flute blog that has made a stamp in the flute community or from having a super awesome flute studio. In fact, it was the feeling of confusion and uncertainty that led me to discover some of the other weird/cooky talents I have for astrology and tarot. 

I knew I didn’t fit into the typically flute player mould. I twisted myself up like a pretzel in my youth trying to. But I was a bit too edgy. A bit too off-the-page. A little more dramatic and a lot more creative. Too metal for the classical stage. What I realized years after those rejection letters had been deleted and/or torn up and discarded was that these were signs from the Universe that I needed to create a new mould. The old one did not fit me and I was okay with that. If these places had another candidate in mind that was their “ideal,” then it was really their loss. I had a new fire burning inside to prove them wrong and design a career where I was free to be the authentic me. Enter blogging.

Going to this school or that school or studying with this teacher or that teacher doesn’t define who you are or how talented you are.

Let that sink in for a second.

The traditional flutist elevator pitch has typically centered on these things. “My name is ________. I graduated from _________ School and studied with ___________ and __________. I am currently the Principal Flute with ___________ Orchestra.” How many times have we heard that a a flute convention?

But what does it really say about the person? It doesn’t really tell us how they are different or what their niche may be. It doesn’t tell us their strengths or weaknesses. It isn’t even a flute playing math problem! (If they studied with X and Y, then their flute playing must sound like ______.).

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves in our youth to fill in the above blanks. We have the myth of the magic formula in our heads. We build our idea of success as how best we craft this sentence.

I am here to say that that sentence is not what defines you. That sentence is ever changing and wildly different for each of us. You will build your sentence with each new super cool thing you achieve or design in your flute career.

So why do we feel like a failure when we are rejected from a certain school or a job? Perhaps it is because we have not allowed ourself the permission to be different. To think about our career in different, ever-evolving terms. Perhaps we believe that there is a magic key that will make us successful.

There is no magic key.

You make your own magic key by being different and amazing. It is not where you go that defines this – It is what you do with the time you are given regardless of where you go.

If you are dying to study with a certain teacher, there are ways to do that outside of a degree program (masterclasses, conventions, etc.). If you have a great idea for a research project, there are grants available at other institutions who would love to support your research. If you really want to live in a certain area, what is stopping you from doing that even after you receive your degree? Just do it! Carve your niche when you get there!

I never thought I would end up blogging when I started my flute career. Blogging wasn’t even a thing when I was applying to Bachelor degree programs! I also never thought I would publish as much as I do or write reviews for a large flute publication. I found my niche when I stopped trying to be like everybody else and gave myself permission to be me; The good, the bad, the ugly, and the honest.

I rejected rejection.

I challenge you to do the same during this time. Received a rejection letter? Cool – Their loss! They are not meant to be in your elevator pitch. Torn between two schools? Great – Pick the one that speaks to your authentic self. Didn’t make it into a prestigious ensemble – No problem. Carefully consider other options. There is always another opportunity right around the corner – Perhaps one that will value your playing more and provide a true sense of belonging. At the end of the day, that sense of belonging helps bring out our very best!

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When have you rejected rejection? How has your elevator pitch changed over time? How did you find your niche? Are you facing letters of rejection now? Comment, “Thank you, next!” below.

Good luck and happy fluting!

-Dr. G.